Just Swing

Its been a little while since my last post.

And I've been doing a LOT of thinking.

Lots of stuff going on.

Wishing my life was resolved.

Wanting to fast forward to the HAPPY, erase the turmoil of now...

More than one friend said to me this week,

"Your life could be a reality show."

Which is good for a laugh, but...I'm not 21.

I don't want my life to be like an episode of the Kardashians. I enjoy some excitement, but ultimately, I don't like limbo. Don't like blurred lines, ambiguity, and not knowing where I stand with people. Maybe it removes the mystery in life, but I think mystery is overrated.

I like honesty. Passion. Trust. Courage.

Mystery is bullshit.

But there is something AMAZING about being in a place where possibilities are endless.

Nothing is written in stone...and my life can be whatever I make of it.

I went up to Maine with my Dad last week to help close up the cabin for the winter. While he was draining the pipes I found some old pictures of my Grammy's...and one in particular of me that I loved. I'm about 3-4 years old. I'm on the swing that my grandfather built for me, bundled up, pumping my legs to get higher, and I look completely THRILLED to be doing exactly what I'm doing at that moment. The little girl in that picture thinks that swinging is the most awesome thing that's ever happened. No worries about the future, no stress or fear.

Just swing.

And as much as it's tempting to feel like you can never be young again, never go back to where you were before...stress about the future does not get you what you want. It only distracts from the wonderful moments you can experience NOW. I don't want to waste my life while I'm trying to control it.

And you never know when the next great moment is around the corner.

So I'm going to breathe.

Just swinging...